4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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