I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
