I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize