Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?

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(619): View more from California

I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.

Fav 9 1169 3158
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(812): View more from Indiana

But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think

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(416): View more from Toronto

So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!

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