If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
