my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
