Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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