if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We're too hungover to prance.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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