party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
