In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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