and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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