if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
