just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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