After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
