My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
