oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
