i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
