the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
