you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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