think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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