I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I touched a dick in church today
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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