Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
