sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
