saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
