you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
