He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
