Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
