So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Pooping to opera.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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