were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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