Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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