We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
