on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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