It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
