did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
