In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
