He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
