Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I love having hate sex.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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