I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
