I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we made out on top of his cat.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
