the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
