It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize