just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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