there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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