i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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