So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
a search helicopter?!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
