you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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