i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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