I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize