I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
