I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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