I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
