Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You were trust falling into bushes
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
