I need help removing her.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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