Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
