Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
