I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
