I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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