I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
