who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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