I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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