I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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