Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
