I can text with my tongue
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize