well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
two words: eviction party
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
