i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
