nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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