At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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