so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
